I’ve been looking into a subject that many people and many parents treat like the end of the world. They complain about the sexualization of children through the open commercialization of sex. The worry for these people is that the world is falling apart. Today I’ve decided to spend some time looking at what these people have to say and why they say it. As something that has already and will in the future become something that will become policy and land right in my sights. There is a lot of valid concern, and a lot of invalid behavior that is contrary to good parenting.
I was considering a lengthy rebuttal of certain comments by random idiots. I am not going to bother quoting them – being random comments most of what these people say is unimportant. I will run you through these events how I see them and it might be annoying that you don’t really get to see them but you will find them of course if you look. I really only care to provide a rebuttal and these are usually with rather abundant facts and realizations.
One such fact is that I consider it is abuse to have a mindless obsession with keeping as much of a child’s skin covered as possible. In some news article I was reading about a clothing line by Beyonce’ – the article had an issue with the marketing of something towards children that is already implicitly sexualized. The content of her music is the problem – pragmatists from all around the world commented that children’s skin is covered and that it’s less revealing than mainstream clothing already is. One such inept parent was not concerned about anything but fighting comfort – and told of the great lengths of covering up something that isn’t sexual: a child’s body, in the name of preventing sexualization.
Not only to I pity this child on any hot day now, this parent is the one doing all the sexualizing. We don’t really need to focus too much on such a thing with a non-sexual entity like a child. That it pleases pedophiles or does not please them should not even come into it. The fact is treating a non-sexual entity like it should cover and make scarce their non-existent sexuality attributes the child with a sexuality it doesn’t have. Children obviously need to learn to take pride and wear clothes – but a naked child is not a sexualized child. A child who is damned for things the child cannot understand, that is “revealing” and non-existent sexuality, which is a child being sexualized.
Another case of a child not being sexualized is any child doing any form of dancing. The child literally isn’t sexually developed. All the people calling this trend on YouTube a sexualization of children ignore the fact that for the same reasons the child is unaware of the sexual nature of a dance (they don’t have a sexual nature yet) is why you shouldn’t see anything sexual about it. When a child is involved, it is not sex, until someone sends the child on a vision-quest that remains impossible until puberty. That last part is the sexualization of children.
The problem is not the way children are dressing, and it’s actually not ever an issue. Children don’t even have to dress – and unlike us – they are still not sexualized. An undressed child can imitate all the pop stars and still not be sexualized because sexuality and those forms of desires are incredibly limited. A child “shaking it” (shaking her buttocks) is not sexual behavior. Whining about all these things and calling it sexual behavior, that is the sexualization of children.
The themes of the music they are dancing too is always going to be the source of the sexualization. Beyonce and her slutty dances alone cannot do anything than give a child something to imitate – but only the words, lyrics, and ideas given to them by adults can sexualize them. The reason this is wrong is because that teaches children to behave against the facts of reality. They can do all the sexual poses in the world – and Children and especially toddlers do these by accident just mucking around and nobody sees that as sexual because it just isn’t sexual.
The real problem with sexual molestation isn’t that the “sex” itself is painful or even unenjoyable sex. It isn’t anything the religionists have identified and I want to make a point. Nobody cared about this issue until the Enlightenment – in the court of history Christianity is condemned to the truth that through its entire history until the Enlightenment when it had to either change or fade away was typically followed by people who sold their barely pubescent daughters and married them off like property. Not only does the Bible have nothing to offer – what it has to offer is more in service of the destruction of children than about protecting them. Through most of history most adults had no realization of rights – let alone Children.
It is incredibly difficult to imagine a world that does nothing about child molestation but that is the fact. Doing something about it is a product of the Enlightenment, a product of rejecting concepts like original sin. It is a fact and an outright fact that Children not only have no purpose in sexualized behavior they also function entirely on second-hand value judgments. Whores also function entirely on others approval – the difference with a whore is that it is a choice. As children, we have to learn to make judgments for ourselves. Children cannot apply value-judgments to anything; they are incapable of moralizing about anything let alone on picking a sexual partner. The alternative is what we used to have when Christians did practice what the preach: arranged marriage.
A child having sex is a lot like an arranged marriage. The child, being a child, isn’t independent and its pretty reasonable to come to the conclusion that a child having sex is having sex with who they were told to have sex with. This doesn’t stand anymore – because the philosophy of the Enlightenment attributes great purpose to sexuality. Nobody likes a second-hand whore because she gives sex away without considering the value of the recipient and this brings them into contact with people who are bad for them and people who do not value them. Children cannot do any better than this, they depend on us as an authority – and we in this modern world preserve sexuality in children so they can decide with their own minds who bares the goods in later years.
To stop the sexualization of children takes firstly a focus on the sexualization of children and not a focus on children dancing to music you do not like they cannot work out how to like. Children don’t dance to raunchy videos because of some lost sacred boundary. They don’t make value judgments like this – THEY ARE NOT SEXUALIZED. You see a child dancing to a raunchy video – the child doesn’t even know it as really “raunchy.” The child is playing a game, and you are the one sexualizing the child in this scenario every time.
Yet, we shouldn’t be worrying about younger children who are ultimately impossible to sexualize. We should be worrying about the roughly 12-year-olds who are fast growing an implicit sexuality in a world that gives them two detrimental courses of action: use this sexuality before your mind has developed and naturally regret a lot of it, or hide this sexuality like it doesn’t exist and turn out similarly screwed up. We are in a vacuum of sexual ethics – a world of sexting and chastity vowels made by people who should not be making chastity vows for the same reasons they should not be sexting. They are too young to be making long-range decisions on how they dispose or don’t dispose of their virginity – they are also too young to be sending out photos of themselves because they cannot grasp the long term implications of such photos.
Teenagers should be having sex. When they are not having sex, they are not going to make the kinds of mistake that develop sexual self-esteem, nor any of the successes. This is a messy and confusing process for anyone. I know plenty of people who have not had sex as teenagers, that go through the same thing anyway as adults. I am not going to pick an arbitrary number, but the time between your first erections or your first arousals and periods and the time you are 18 is roughly in the area you should start having sex and gaining this experience.
There is also lots you should not do while doing this, as you will do it wrong, and gain nothing. You do not have sex with just anyone – that just skips the whole purpose. The whole purpose of going through this is that you gain methods of discriminating against people. You learn to find your highest values in others and if you are just sleeping around you are not even making an effort to this effect. You also don’t use others rules of discrimination – or you open the doors to anyone who fits a stereotype.
Quite controversially, I don’t think our teenagers or adults should face much trouble of doing this together – especially when they are older. However because of reasons I’ve already stated, that children simply don’t choose but use the choices around them. So sharing your first romances with an adult because they know more is “cheating” and is thus as against learning independently, our unspoken rite of passage, as you are not learning with someone about sexuality who also doesn’t know – you are just being shown everything. The orgasms will be more intense, but the romance will be non-existent.
One thing is certain though; we need to be encouraging our teenagers to be experimenting toward the end of romance and affection. Be it chastity or whoredom – both of those rob teenagers of knowledge some of us but not all of us discover. The later it is left and the longer it takes, and so there is no better time than puberty. I do like that this is just common sense to most people and that we have laws in my state that protect 12 year olds discovering with 12 year olds in the same law that stops adults perverting them. It’s a weird thought to some of you, but there really is something romantic about two barely pubescent people learning together and experimenting with a certainty about what they can discover as two reasoning humans. I experimented almost quite this young, and those are the times I never really regret, but everything I do regret and everything I value in sex was discovered in its basic forms all those years ago.
Children dancing to dirty videos are only a bad thing when they are doing it to gain sex. Children unlike Teenagers do not naturally attempt to gain anything I would call sex. They might find some special places and experiment a little but this is still not sexual. Nothing is really sexual to a child like it can be to us and that is the entire point of protecting them. Things can only gain sexual meanings with the work of teenagers and adult. Until we are teenagers, sexuality just is not a part of us. I thought of following this up with a moral rebuttal of the organized pedophile movement but it seems that was so easy I ended up doing it by accident while writing about something else. Sexualizing children isn’t bad because of superstition or that sex is sacred. It is bad because it encourages children to evade their non-sexualized nature – and it encourages children to evade the facts of reality.
I was sexually abused as a child and what was abusive about it was not my “precious” virginity but the time I wasted acting like a man in a boy’s body. I hurt girls doing this, and that happened because it wasn’t my nature and I had no facts to act on other than what I would hear rather than notice with a sexual nature. This changed when I was a teenager – but this development was slowed and distorted by all the discoveries I was attempting to make before without the “tools.” That was a long time ago, but I really should end this on that personal note. To me, I lost my virginity at 19 – because that was when I discovered my sexual nature in an original fashion. This is of course, a lie, I was raped and if preserving a point of penetration had any value I’d have never known innocence. This couldn’t be more false, no matter what, I couldn’t not be innocent. It’s filthy that when people see a little girl dancing to Hip Hop they see a little girl acting like a slut and not get a laugh that the little girl doesn’t understand anything and enjoy the beauty and innocence of it.
It really doesn’t surprise me that religious people shelter pedophiles because when it comes to children dancing to things that for us have sexual themes – they openly speak like pedophiles. I know it isn’t people focusing on reality that misplace sexuality so easily. This isn’t really a big issue anyway. Traditional beauty pagents teach little girls to find what cannot be found: self-esteem in crowds. These children would be less damaged in the arms of pedophiles. A pedophile would be the lesser of two evils – and I am glad I was raised screwed up and not just as a second-hander.